When I told people I was going to have baby Roger at home, a lot of people asked questions. I answered the best I could, but I think I can answer better now. The only problem is I'm not sure if I remember all the questions. If you have any other questions, let me know in a comment and I'll update the post with my answer.
*I have decided to edit this post to include sources other than my own experience and knowledge.
Q) How do you deal with the pain?
A) I took hypnobirthing classes and stayed relaxed. I didn't want an epidural anyway, and being at home allowed me to be more relaxed. The more tense you are, the more pain you will experience. Most of my labor was very relaxed. One of the best helps for me was the pressure points that my husband and mother used that we all learned about in "Daddy Doula" training. The most intense part, where there was actual pain, was the pushing part, and it only lasted about 10-15 minutes. The most pain I experienced that day was getting the lidocaine shots so I could get stitched up. I was screaming for that part. My hypnobirthing instructor keeps track of her mothers (clients), and reports that even though most of her clients birth in a hospital where they have the option of an epidural, 82% of them (as of 1/1/2015) labor and birth without any pain medications or epidurals.
Q) Won't it be messy?
A) As part of the birth kit I needed to buy 3 plastic shower curtain liners. I also needed to have several towels on hand. I had chux pads and depends for after the birth. My midwife and her assistant (and possibly others, I'm not really sure) cleaned up everything after Roger was born while Chris and I were cuddling with him in our bed. I wore a navy blue swim skirt (without sewn in panties) and a black tank top, and both look great. There's no stains on my towels, and my midwife and her assistant even did the towel laundry. I honestly didn't have to clean anything up. The only thing that got any blood on it was the bathroom mats, and that happened long after the birth. Luckily, everything I buy is machine washable :)
Q) Isn't it dangerous?
A) Not in most cases. In most cases, you will be less likely to have interventions. Interventions can cause complications. Most homebirth midwives report a 1-2% transfer rate (that is, when the birth is transferred to a hospital), and when I asked about it I was told even then, it's usually because the mom decides she wants an epidural after all. In Europe, homebirth is a lot more common. This blog post explains data from a study in the Netherlands (where homebirth is even more common than hospital birth) showing that at least in the Netherlands, homebirth was less risky. The study, which appeared in the peer-reviewed journal BMJ, is linked at the bottom of the post.
Q) How do they know how the baby is doing if they don't have you hooked up to a machine?
A) Continuous electronic fetal monitoring, which is the norm in hospitals, is not necessary and is actually contrary to scientific evidence. At home, or in a birth center or even a hospital if you are birthing naturally, you have the option to have intermittent fetal monitoring, where your provider checks the baby's heart rate a few times an hour until the pushing stage, and then more frequently. Here's a great article explaining why intermittent fetal monitoring, by hand, is preferable to continuous fetal monitoring, by machine.
Q) What if the cord is around the neck?
A) This is called a nuchal cord and happens in about 1/3 of all births, so midwives see it all the time. It happened when I was born (at home) and I was fine. Recent studies show that nuchal cords are not associated with many adverse outcomes people typically think of. Here are some great reads on nuchal cords.
Abstract of a study showing absence of adverse effects with nuchal cords (quick read).
Blog article based on a PhD thesis exploring best practices for nuchal cords.
Comprehensive article with many references on nuchal cords.
Q) What if your baby needs oxygen?
A) My midwife brought an oxygen tank and administered it to my baby. If you are thinking about a home birth and are concerned about this, ask in the initial interview/consult with the midwife if she brings oxygen to births.
Q) What will they do with the placenta?
A) I chose to encapsulate my placenta. My midwife's assistant took my placenta to a woman who encapsulates placentas. A few days later my husband went and picked up my placenta which had been encapsulated (turned into pills). All mammals except humans eat their placentas because it's good for you. It stimulates milk supply and helps with hormonal balance (all those hormones in the placenta suddenly leave when you give birth. What then?). People who choose not to encapsulate their placenta can discuss with their midwife what is usually done (remember, this is very routine for a homebirth midwife). Here's a web site about why ingesting your own placenta is beneficial.
Q) Is it expensive?
A) For us it was actually cheaper than hospital birth. The total fee from the midwife, for prenatal care, birth, and postpartum visits, was equal to our hospital deductible, after which our insurance would have covered 80% of everything else. My guess is that we would have spent about $500-$1500 more on a hospital birth.
Q) Why not just do a birthing center?
A) I considered it at first. It was more expensive, and there was no certainty about who would deliver my baby, since our local birthing center is run by a group of midwives. Plus, they make you go home a few hours after giving birth, and I wouldn't have wanted to sit in a car. I was pretty sore until I got my stitches out a week later. I am not against birthing centers (or hospitals, for that matter), but it wasn't a good fit for us.
Here are some other things that were awesome about homebirth, that you may not get in a hospital:
-Less interventions.
-Dad is involved. Chris was super helpful throughout my labor and birth and I think it helped him bond with Roger.
-Lots of time with baby immediately following birth. We got to hold Roger for about 2 hours after he was born before they did anything. At that point, they did his checkup, including weighing and measuring, and my stitches.
-Have in attendance who you like. Sometimes hospitals are great about this, and sometimes not. My nieces and nephews got to see the baby a few hours after he was born, and my husband, mother, sister-in-law, and a baby niece were present throughout labor and birth.
-Be with your provider for a long time. My midwife was there for many hours. In a hospital, if you are lucky enough to have your doctor be the one who delivers your baby, they usually don't stay for very long, and you just have to hope your nurses are awesome.
-Labor how you like. I didn't have an IV or constant monitors tying me down (though they did check baby's heartbeat probably about once an hour). I was free to eat, drink, and move around except for one hour when my midwife administered evening primrose oil to me (not orally) and had me lie down for an hour for them to dissolve.
-No car trip home. You're already there.
While you're at it reading about natural birthing, watch this video to see why it is so vital to NOT cut the umbilical cord immediately after giving birth. I feel more strongly about this than about anything else birth related. Watch the video about optimal cord clamping.
