All pictures were taken by Amy, my sister-in-law (she is a
professional photographer). Even more can be seen on her site here.
Hypnobirthing language: a surge is a contraction. Waters
releasing means water breaking. We also say “breathing the baby down” instead
of pushing, but in my case it felt like pushing so I’m using that.
I guess it really all started with being
forced onto maternity leave. I didn't want to take maternity leave because my
baby wasn't here to enjoy/take care of. Why stay home and "enjoy
myself"? But because the principal thought it was too great a risk factor
now that I was overdue, I was asked to stop coming to work.
No baby, no work, no desire to do anything productive, and
ridiculously pregnant. I can’t tell you how bored I was that Thursday. I
remembered something about pineapple and labor, so I looked it up online. Some
women swore pineapple brought on labor. Others swore it did nothing – but they
were mostly 37 weeks along or so when they tried it. I was 40 weeks, 4 days (or
something like that). And there was a whole, fresh pineapple on my counter. You
know what I did. I ate an entire half of a pineapple by myself that night. It
was delicious.
When I woke up, I googled “how long after the bloody show
did you go into labor?” because guess what happened in my sleep? It seemed I
would probably go into labor within a day or so. YAY! Except here I was again
with no work, and my husband was at work, and I was just waiting for something
to happen. I had an appointment with my midwife at 3:30 and wasn’t sure if I
should keep it since I would probably go into labor, but I decided I might as
well. When I got there, I went into labor. Hah! I wasn’t sure if it would
continue or not, because I’d had a few times where I’d have a couple surges and
then it would subside, but this time it continued. I wasn’t in pain. I was uncomfortable. When my husband Chris
got home from work, I was pretty excited and asked him to help me time the
surges (he had downloaded an app on his ipod touch). They were about 5 minutes
apart, lasting just under a minute. After dinner and a lot of bouncing on my
birth ball, we decided to play an online video game, League of Legends, with my brother Ben. I was kind of distracted
throughout the game and hadn’t played in maybe a year, but I was still the best
player on the team. I was amazing. Just thought I’d throw that in.
So then it was about 10:30 pm, and I didn’t know if I should
sleep or not. I called my midwife, Melody, and let her know what was going on.
She said I should try to sleep, so I told her to sleep too – and my husband,
and my mom, and my sister-in-law Amy (who was going to be there taking
pictures). Well, I found out that while my surges were only a minor discomfort
while sitting, it was pretty much torture to lie down (on my side of course,
not my back – that would have been far worse). I didn’t know what to do. Amy
suggested I sleep sitting. DUH! So I sat in my soft rocking chair and slept
until 1:30 am.
I went to the bathroom and realized my waters had released –
not all at once, though, it was just a slow leak. I put on a diaper (well, “Depends”
I guess, but it felt like a diaper) to monitor whether there was meconium.
There was, but it turned out to be ok. My surges had gotten much more intense,
which must be what woke me up, so I woke up Chris and my mom and my midwife and
Amy. I can’t remember for sure, but I think my surges were 4 minutes apart and
lasting 1 minute at that point. Anyhow, everyone came. There was my husband,
obviously, and my mom came, and Melody (midwife) and Shauna (her assistant – a midwife
in training), and Amy, and Amy’s baby because obviously little babies need to
be with Mom!
One of the main problems was filling up the birthing
pool/tub. We lined it with thick, soft blankets followed by a plastic liner,
but couldn’t get the hose to attach to anything
to get water into it. It ended up that Amy and Shauna filed it up with a bucket
and a very large bowl, getting warm water from the tub. I think that was the
first of Amy’s non-photography tasks, but she ended up doing a LOT more than
take pictures.
We put on some soft and gentle music that I had picked out
previously. Everybody started getting in their roles. Shauna checked on me and
on the baby (his heart), Mom and Chris started helping me feel more comfortable
by applying pressure to pressure points (on my back and hand), and Amy did
everything in the world. Melody fell asleep on the couch because she felt ill.
Poor Melody. When she woke up, she did all my dishes. Poor Melody. J
Serene Heather, Mom applying pressure to hand, Chris applying pressure to back
Chris started getting really sleepy. He sounded like a zombie. I told him to go to sleep, but he protested. We argued about it for a while, and finally I told him, “you’re so sleepy you’re making me mad! Go to sleep!” And so he did. For a really, really long time.
Back pressure points during a surge, Chris sleeping
Chris had been applying
pressure to my back (kind of above the scapula – you can see in the pictures),
so Shauna took over that job. Mom stayed on the hand pressure
point and made sure I got enough fluid. Amy did whatever job was needed, like if Mom or Shauna had to go do something else. For hydration, I drank coconut water, which is
delicious and apparently the drink most similar to our body’s fluids. Someone
brought me snacks. Shauna kept checking the baby's heart rate. Melody and Shauna used oils
and herbal medicines on me, I don’t know which ones – I just took whatever they
gave because I trust Melody and she’s amazing. All this time, I had no desire
to be “checked.” I didn’t really want to know how dilated I was, I just wanted
to keep breathing through the surges, sitting in the tub, and just letting
labor happen.
Shauna checking the baby's heart
One funny thing that happened while Chris was asleep was
that he kept snoring very loudly the whole time and it was kind of obnoxious so
I finally suggested someone put his mouth guard in for him – he’d forgot. It’s
meant to protect his teeth from grinding but a side benefit is that he snores
very little with it in. No one wanted to do it and I didn’t want to get out of
the birthing tub, but finally my mom volunteered. I told her to just open his
mouth and pop it in. Well, when she tried to open his mouth, he snatched the
mouth guard from her other hand and shoved it in his mouth very quickly –
without waking up. We were all laughing for some time over how funny he looked
when he did that.
Eventually, after about 5 or 6 hours, Chris woke up. He resumed his duties of pressure during surges, comfort and support all the time, and gentle touches (like light touch massage) between surges. I really can't say enough about how great he was, and also everyone there.
Chris comforting and supporting me
Then Melody asked if she could check me. I finally said yes, and that was the most
painful part of labor up to that point – and I was only at a 3! I was not very
happy about that. I’d been in labor for maybe 15 hours and was less than 1/3 of
the way there? Not my favorite news ever. Melody told Shauna to try mental
imagery with me, so I was directed to picture melting butter. It was kind of
nice, though it sounds silly. More hours passed pretty much the same way –
pressure points, drinks, pictures, baby’s heartbeat. Checked again. 4 cm
dilated. It was 11 am. And then Melody made me mad, which is apparently a good
tactic.
She said she was going to put evening primrose oil into my
cervix and that I would have to lie down on my side for at least an hour
(remember how lying down was horrible?) and that she was going home and that I
probably wouldn’t give birth until between 8 and 10 pm. But also, she said that
I have control over that. And then she put evening primrose in me while I was
lying down and then she left. Amy went home too, because she had 3 kids at home
that needed to be looked after. And I was very, very upset. And lying down did
NOT feel good.
We put on a hypnobirthing CD, which in hindsight, I wish I’d
done earlier. I listened to Rainbow Relaxation on repeat the whole hour I had
to lie there. That script is magical. Even as uncomfortable as I was lying
down, I fell asleep a few times for a few minutes at a time. I was pretty
relaxed considering my uncomfortable position. I was still kind of mad, though.
I was tired and didn’t want to be in labor another 10 or so hours.
After my hour was up, I got up and labor got more intense. I
was still pretty calm, but I definitely felt a difference in the surges. Shauna
sounded very positive about how things were going (she stayed even though
Melody left). I think it was at about 1:30 that I called Amy and Melody to come
back. Another sister-in-law, Nikki, volunteered to watch Amy’s kids while Amy
finished helping with and photographing the birth. Since Nikki lives only a few
blocks away from me, that was pretty convenient for everyone (except possibly
Nikki, who was volunteering to watch 3 high-energy kids for an unknown amount
of time). So everyone came back and things continued to get more intense.
Probably around 3:45, I threw up what felt like the entire
contents of my body, except for the baby. I had been very tired before that,
but after that I was completely drained of all ability to maneuver. I couldn’t
sit up anymore and had to lie down (I know, my favorite position again). Chris
held me in bed and continued to support me during surges with the pressure
points. Everyone was so positive and kept telling me I could do this. Melody
checked me again and I was 7.5 cm dilated.
Chris holding me in bed
I’d heard that when you’re about to give birth, you say “I
can’t do this ANYMORE!” and was surprised to hear those words come out of my
mouth about a minute after that check. My mom told me that Melody checked again
and I was 8.5 cm then, but I don’t even remember that. My body took over, which
was good considering I couldn’t will myself to do anything because I was so
weak. 10 cm be darned, this baby was coming out. I knew that because my body
just started pushing. It was the strangest feeling. I didn’t try to make it
start and certainly couldn’t have made it stop. All I could do is try to
breathe through it like everyone was telling me, but there was actually a lot
of pain and I was pretty overwhelmed. I guess the pain had been there through
many of the contractions, but it was completely bearable with the help of all
these loving people, until this moment.
Melody told me I needed to go to the birthing stool (there
was no way I could have got into the tub). I was like, “I CAN’T MOVE!!!!!” and
she said “that’s okay, we can carry you.” I also wailed that I couldn’t even
sit up because I was too weak, but they set things up so Chris could hold me
up. Chris carried me to the birth stool and sat behind me, holding all of my
upper body weight. I needed him so much at that moment and I’m so glad he was
there. I could feel these extraordinarily powerful surges that were pushing the
baby out and it was so hard for me. I didn’t know how close to the end I was.
All I could do was focus on making the low sounds everyone was telling me to
make and try to listen to everyone saying “you can do this! You’ve got this!” Melody
told me to reach down and feel his head. I felt his head and hair! That was
really encouraging.
Chris supporting me on the birth stool between and during pushes
Someone tried to show me the head coming out in a mirror. I
didn’t have my glasses on so I could barely make it out, but I could kind of
see it. And not very much later, Melody said, “his head’s out!” I didn’t know
if she meant that he was crowning or if his head was actually completely out,
but then I felt his body slide out and he was placed on my leg and started
getting goop suctioned out of him. I couldn’t believe he was here! The actual pushing had only lasted maybe 10 or 15 minutes. Once he was out, I said over
and over, “it’s my baby! It’s my baby!” and was so overwhelmed and happy and
relieved. And I heard him cry a little bit, and then he was placed in my arms,
on my stomach, and he was wrapped in a towel to be warm, and wiped clean. And
there we were, with our actual baby in my actual arms, and I was in Chris’
arms, and everything was so perfect.
Receiving our baby
Shauna was trying to make sure everything got written down,
but when little Roger made an appearance everybody was just so amazed and happy
that nobody looked at the time. It was 4:25 by the time someone realized we
hadn’t noted the time of birth, so we just guessed – it had been just a few
minutes. I’m saying he was born at 4:20 because 4:20 on 4/20 sounds cool,
although I’ve been informed this has something to do with marijuana – but I don’t
care.
The placenta was born – which, as I’d heard, was really not
that hard after a baby. Melody asked Chris if he wanted to clamp and cut the
cord. He wasn’t sure he did, but I asked him to, and he agreed to. Melody
helped him to do it just right. I’m glad he did it. I’m really just glad that
he was so involved in everything. It was so amazing to have our little son and that we were both so instrumental in his birth.
Roger holding tight to Dad and Mom while receiving oxygen
We had some time with our baby. It was so wonderful to be
with my husband and new baby, our little family. I don’t know what everyone
else did – clean up, probably. Drain the tub. I don’t know, I was pretty much
completely oblivious to everything except our little family. We had a long time
together. I’m not sure how long, maybe 2 hours. And then my peaceful time was
over, because I had some tearing, and needed some repair work; Roger needed to
be examined as well.
Family time & skin to skin contact with Dad
Chris, Mom, and Shauna were a team checking up on Roger. He
weighed in at 7 lbs, 4 oz and was 21” long (pretty tall for an average weight
baby!) and seemed healthy in every way. I, on the other hand, was in torture. I
am certain that getting poked with lidocaine what felt like a million times was
far more painful than any part of childbirth and probably even than all of it
put together. Maybe that’s because I hadn’t taken a hypno-lidocaine class or
something, but it was awful. Of course, the stitches were no big deal once I
was numb. Amy, Melody, and me were a team for my stitches. I guess it's good that Melody was stitching and Amy was helping and I couldn't see any of it, because I think I would have passed out doing either of their jobs.
Then Melody told me I needed to go pee. I was like, “what?
Why?” and she said, “we need to make sure you can. And if you can’t, you’re
going to have to have a catheter.” My response? “Are you kidding me? Can I pee?
I can do ANYTHING!” By the way, I didn’t know that some women can’t pee after childbirth.
I could, though, just like I said.
I guess you can say I was incredibly empowered by birth.
Happy family
